Of Pens, Papers, and Petals
by perfectpro
Summary: There is only one true constant in Chad Dylan Cooper's life. That constant may or may not be his ex-girlfriend, the innocent starlet of all of Hollywood.


She w/a/s/n/'/t like other girls.

Other girls spent hours plotting revenge on their _EX_-boyfriends.

Other girls threw plates and other breakable things at their _EX_-boyfriends face even if their face was on a TV screen.

Sonny Munroe hugged her _EX_-boyfriends when she saw them.

She blew kisses at them while she ran backwards as though she was hoping she could glance at them one last time.

When she found out that Chad Dylan Cooper had been cheating on her, she shrugged as she placed her hands in her jacket, pocketing her car keys and heading out the door while saying her oh-so-memorable parting words to him: Peace out, sucka.

He respects her for that. He respects her for n-o-t flipping out on him and making a big deal. She quit cold turkey. It's better that way.

When she sees him now, unlike all of his other _EX_-girlfriends who just flip him off and simply walk the other way down another street on the block, she runs up to him as quickly as she can and hugs him and then kisses him on both cheeks, her face sparkling with what he assumes to be flecks of her {shining} personality.

Then she'll run backwards to her car as she blows a single k/i/s/s to him from the palm of her hand.

She attended his wedding to his first wife and threw rose petals in his hair and laughed when he unsuccessfully tried to remove them.

She caught the bouquet and hugged the bride.

She was the [perfect] guest to them [perfect] wedding.

&suddenly, Chad realized that she had been the [perfect] person.

They had remained friends, _the best of friends_, even after they had broken up.

She had pulled him out into the rain and danced with him after he had gotten into a little fight with his wife.

He always slept on her couch in her apartment after particularly large fights between him and his wife.

(Soon, this became a large reason for the majority of those fights.)

She lent him a pen for him to sign the divorce papers for his first wife.

She went to his wedding to his second wife and caught the bouquet again.

She hugged the bride and threw rose petals.

She was, once again, the [perfect] guest to the [perfect] wedding.

She wasn't like any of his other _EX_-girlfriends.

She gave him rides to work when his car decided to be stupid.

She babysat his kids while he was out.

She sent hand-made Christmas cards and the [perfect] birthday presents.

She let him use her computer while his internet was shut down.

She was super-human, overcoming feelings of hatred, anger, aggression, depression, sadness, and dejection.

She laughed when he told her that, and she said that he just hadn't paid much attention.

He didn't agree, because he always paid attention to her.

But he made a mental note to be extra-sure to pay more attention to her.

Next time, when she runs up and kisses him on both cheeks, he realizes that those weren't sparkles, they were tears.

Once again, she lent him the pen to sign his second set of divorce papers.

In his wedding to his third wife, she didn't come.

He kept waiting for her to sprint out from behind someone, _anyone_ and hug him, kissing him on both cheeks, tears sparkling in all of her beautiful and agonizing glory.

She doesn't show up.

He waits for her to show up before the bouquet is thrown.

She doesn't show, so he moves the wedding along so fast that no one notices the bouquet wasn't thrown until after they leave.

Because in Chad's mind, what was it even worth for his third wife (histhirdfreakingwife) to throw the bouquet if Sonny wasn't there to catch it like always?

n o t h i n g a t a l l

She wasn't the [perfect] guest to the [perfect] wedding.

&he didn't sleep on her couch when he got into arguments with his third wife.

She didn't make him dance in the rain when it drizzled.

&his kids ask what happened to their beloved babysitter?

No Christmas cards come in with her chicken-scratch writing on the envelope, so unlike his writing, which is seemingly his own font style.

He doesn't use her computer when his internet is down.

He walks to work on days that his car is being stupid.

But what hurts the most really, is that he still uses her pen to sign his third set of divorce papers.

She is standing in the lawyer office after he leaves with no expression on her face.

She holds out her hand and he drops the fountain pen that, as far to his knowledge, has been used only on three occasions so far

They walk out side-by-side, not saying anything until they get to their cars.

"Next time?" she asks.

"Next time," he tells her curtly.

They both know that there will be a next wedding, a next wife, a next set of divorce papers for him to sign with her fountain pen.

It's sadistic, but they both know that it's true.

She comes to the wedding to his fourth wife.

She is, for the third time, the [perfect] guest to the [perfect] wedding.

She catches the bouquet, throws rose petals into his hair, and hugs the bride.

Right before she leaves, she runs up to him and tackles him into a hug, kissing both of his cheeks as she does so with tears streaming down her face.

She acts like she thinks that this is his marriage that will last him forever even though they b-o-t-h know that it's not.

She sends another homemade Christmas card.

She drives him to work while his car is in the shop.

She buys him a laptop to use for when his internet acts up.

She develops the guest room in her own house to a nicer set up so that he can use it instead of the couch.

She baby-sits the kids and reads them stories whenever she comes over.

&she hands him her fountain pen to sign his forth set of divorce papers, just like she promised him that she would.

To his relief, she comes to the wedding for his fifth wife.

She may not be the [perfect] guest, but it is the [perfect] wedding.

She isn't the [perfect] guest because she isn't just a guest this time.

She is the lady in white, the bride, the most beautiful girl he has ever seen.

She doesn't just catch the bouquet; she walks up the isle with it.

She throws it off of the balcony and squeals as Tawni catches it.

She throws rose petals in his hair, only this time he doesn't try to get them out.

A Christmas passes by where they make their own Christmas cards.

Whenever they fight, he just points to the guest room and they double over in laughter.

She tells him to buy a new car when his old car that seemingly hates him acts up.

She makes him stand outside in a thunderstorm just to feel the wind whip your hair around as water pounds hard on your face.

She makes him order a new internet company when the internet connection doesn't work for the third time that week.

&she hands him the fountain pen as they throw it into the trash.

Because they both know that she wasn't like other exes.


End file.
